Month One

Dear Xavier,

It’s hard to believe that you have been with us for a month already. Then again, it’s hard to remember our life without you. It’s been a learning experience everyday, probably even more for us than for you. I learned that as hard as I tried to pick out a name that couldn’t be shortened to one syllable, your daddy would start calling you X shortly after you were born and the high school students added Baby X, Little X, even Dr. X? Well, I had good intentions…

I thought for a while that you might be “Super Baby”…especially when you rolled over the day you came home from the hospital. Of course, that may have been assisted by the big pillow you were laying on during one of the many photo shoots you had to endure the first weeks of your life. You might as well get used to that, X. Just ask your daddy. He’s learned just to smile for the camera and get it over with. I thought you were Super Baby again when you folded your hands when you were five days old on your first Sunday. I’m sorry I didn’t take you to church that day, but I’m glad you remembered to pray anyway. Of course, I didn’t think you were quite as super when you spit up all over the both of us in church the next week.

You went to a football game and a bunch of cross country practices in your first few weeks. Approximately 73% of your clothing has a football on it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t run cross country in high school, Xavier. Your mama doesn’t want you getting hurt playing football. So we’ve been practicing your running form when you’re laying on the floor and you’ve been on a few runs with Mommy in the running stroller already. In fact, yesterday, you cried the entire time I was walking until I finally broke into a run. Thanks for getting me going! Daddy and Grandma Hill will get used to the idea of you running cross country eventually…

Your grandparents love you almost as much as your parents. Grandma Mueller spent the first couple weeks of your life with you making sure your mama didn’t mess things up too badly. You must have thought I was crazy when I cried the entire day she left, but I think you might have too. And remember, Grandma told us that a little crying makes you stronger. Your grandpa calls me everyday just to make sure that I’m taking good care of you and yesterday he told me that he thinks you get a little cuter every day. And Grandma Hill has been waiting for you (and buying presents for you) ever since your mama and daddy got married!

Someone asked me a week or so after you were born—“Did you ever think you could love something so much?” And I’ve continued to ask myself that question, because my love for you multiplies with every day…every time I nurse you, every time you curl up on my chest for a nap, every time you stare at us with those big eyes, every time you flail your arms around…

You’ve grown so much already—weighing in at 9 pounds, 10 ounces today. I can’t wait to see you grow up, to see the plans that God has for you. But don’t grow up too fast. And don’t ever forget that no matter how big you are, you’ll always be my little boy.

Love,
Mommy